Call the police! This whole place is gonna burn!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/5ZJ7GH9
please guys it's important to me
 
@an-unknown-world
@owl-always-be-there-for-you
@thisiswhatwelivefor
@igobyalli
@isabellaydg
@kenna-inlovewith-music
@iheartdropdeadkatie
@starsandlove
@jazmaine
@catastropheofazkaban
@vulture

wooooooo
I don't like this but I put in effort so its still good ok
& I have that shirt
and I never wear it anymore
I don't know why it's nice
today was a rather lovely day
except I still feel relapsey
but that's fine y'know
oh and I passed out in my garage
and I don't know why
It's scary
I became smart
like in english class
I gave a little impromptu speech
and my teacher held me a few minutes after class to compliment me
and it was nice
I just confidence
and then that kinda gone but it's okay it was good
actually everything today was good
sh/itty people just make me feel shi/tty about myself y'know
and I'm lonely
because I don't have any friends
well I mean I have a lot of friends
just not today
today I had friendly acquaintances who made me uncomfortable and were hard to talk to
and those are okay sometimes
but not really
and I failed my history midterm properly
and I went to therapy yesterday
and we are moving
and I really don't want to
not because I care too much about moving, we aren't moving far
but because 1) I don't want to redo my wall and 2) stress
because when this happens
my family kills each other
and my family isn't particularly sound as is
no one's really happy except for me
I'm mean I'm not happy right now but I'm a happy person
I'm generally happier than most people I think
but my sister deals with too much sh/it
and my mom doesn't want deal with anyone's sh/it but she has to because she lives with people and she get's sad and frustrated about it
and my dad- well I don't know how he feels but I know people treat him worse than he deserves to be
and I know he's nicest to me
and I know he cares about me as a person and not just because he has to
and I know I make him sad more than anyone else because of that
because I'm not how I should be
and sometimes that makes him the meanest person in my family
because when he can't deal with things
he jokes about them
but the trouble is
I'm not a joke
but I meant to talk about moving didn't I
well that's happening
and my mom gets stressed out
and so I have to take care of my sister
but I also have to try and take care of myself
but that's a lot harder
and I'm scared
because I don't want things to be like they were in 7th grade
because I can't deal with that
and I can't die on it because I don't think anyone else can either
but that might happen
and I don't know what I'd do then
I want to play music
I want to have close friends
I want to grow up
I want to be happy
and I hate how that's all being jeopardized

I just need to whine oops
I'm feeling rather relapsey whoop
and it is obnoxious
because I can't do that
but I really want to
and I totally deserve that
but I just couldn't
 
and the sad thing is I'm kind of proud about not
and that kind of makes it worse because I don't think I should be at this point
it's just
ewww

That's all I had to say.
You can all go home now.

Created in the Polyvore iPhone app. http://www.polyvore.com/iPhone
 
@katelikesthrust
 
Shakskakaishahayauaisjdhsyajsjsda
 
So once upon a time there was a Dean Winchester and a Gabe Saporta and they were in love and they had just gotten married. They'd decided to honeymoon on a boat so they y'know went to do that. "I'm feeling snorkelly." Dean proclaimed standing on the boat's deck before jumping in the ocean. And Gabe just shrugged because he didn't give a fu/ck. Dean was propelling himself with his d/ick through the ocean when he ran into a whale with too much eyeliner. "Hi, I'm Gerard Whale." the whale proclaimed because I just realized how much I like the word proclaimed. Dean gasped "It's a talking whale! I've always fantasized about fuc/king a talking whale." Gerard wiggled his whale eyebrows "You know we could make that happen." "But I just got mar-" Dean started before remembering Gabe didn't give a f/uck. Then he kind of just kind of skipped the small talk and stuck his d/ick in Gerard's whale a/ss and since it was the ocean he didn't have to use lub/e because the ocean water sufficed (**Note this is just creative license don't try this at home kids ocean water is bad lu/be it doesn't suffice at all**) After achieving an absolutely enigmatic org/asm Dean swam back up to the surface. "Why aren't you wearing pants?" Gabe mused. "Dude I wasn't wearing pants when I got in the water. I haven't all day. I wasn't at our wedding. Did you just miss that?" "I dunno. I guess I just don't give a fu/ck." Gabe replied. "I think I'm going to go swimming now." he added. Dean shrugged and went to figure out what he was to do while Gabe was gone. He explored the boat and found an orchestra room. Since he was still horn/y at the thought of Gerard he decided to mastu/rbate with it. In the process he heard footsteps, but ignored it. Gabe pressed his body to Dean's "Why do you get to have all the fun?" he asked kissing his neck "You know I could take that." Dean moaned quietly, "Do you have lu/be." Gabe smirked, "I brought my secret l/ube." He pulled out a jar of mayonnaise. Dean smiled and helped Gabe out with the l/ube before pushing the trumpet into him. "Aye papi!" Gabe yelped. I really can't write in detail trumpet se/x I'm sorry it was hot though? A few hours later Gabe and Dean were having a super romantic dinner with lu/be and fondue. Dean looked his partner in the eyes, "I have a confession." Gabe nodded for him to continue, "I fcked a whale earlier. It's been a dream of mine and well-" Gabe shrugged, "I don't give a fu/ck...but wait. Oh! That explains the crabs." Dean shot him a confused look. "I have herp/es and crabs." Gabe explained. Dean sighed "I guess that's what happens when you fck ocean life." he paused for a minute, "but wait what about the he/rpes?" Gabe grinned "Babe you know I'm a who/re." "True." A waiter finally arrived and they ordered shots of love to go with their fondue because romance. After dinner Gabe leaned over and whispered in Deans ear "Now how about we try that trumpet thing in reverse." Dean smiled, "Sounds lu/bey."
EL FIN.

MONSTERS INCCCCC
 
aysyfedsojepswja
 
that movie is a good thing
 
nothing else to say because I already posted all my sh/it
 
so just I love you all
that's a lie
I love some of you
you know
 

@yousawsomethingbeautifuldie

Created in the Polyvore iPhone app. http://www.polyvore.com/iPhone
 
Ajdvshsoslqb I'll post a real set tonight I just ranting again
 
Like what the fu/ck am I trying to do and why is getting through the day something to be proud of when my days are just like everyone elses and like
I want to die but I can't deal with pain and I don't want people to miss me because that's so stupid and pathetic
But at the same time while alive I want people to love me which sucks because no one in the entire world can really love me right now because I'm so unhappy but then there are people who love me in general they just cant love me at the moment
But I'm so bad at faking
And I don't even want to fake because the more I deny this the worse it gets
And I know because I've been denying this my whole fuc/king life and now I'm just here
And I'm sick of letting myself and everyone else up and down over and over and over
And I really really don't deserve to be alive
Let alone have everything I do
And I know that
And I still want someone to stay with me and do nice things and hold me and remind me I can get through this
But I'm such a sh/ithead right now I can't ask that of anyone
And I just really want to be happy

Created in the Polyvore iPhone app. http://www.polyvore.com/iPhone
 
I'm at school right now oops
We're not doing shit though so
 
Today seems like a really good day to do stupid sh/it doesn't it? Yeah
 
I think it's proper.
 
And then fall out boy.
Like I should be so happy but
That's not gonna happen
 
I resent everyone
 
I kind of just give up now
 
I'm craving weird pills which I don't know what they're called they're colorful though
I don't think I've ever craved pills before
Cooooooooool
 
Fall Out Boy
 
I'm a fu/ck up (:
 
My life is exactly what I didn't think I was and I am in denial
 
I have to play guitar all next week too so I cant just fight walls
Ugh
I mean this is better I guess but I kind of want to feel better without desperate measures
 
I can eat though that's good
 
It's all okay
I'll be okay

loljkaprilfools
 
I'm having a miserable time in class awh >.<
 
but a really good day so whatever
 
me and @katelikesthrust put up pictures of pete wentz around the school
we win
 
and we wrote a song
I already went over that
but I don't care
nobody is forgetting for like the next 3 years lolsorry
 
@yousawsomethingbeautifuldie
@thisiswhatwelivefor
@jazmaine
I've kinda just made a tag list lately oops

I don't even listen to letlive. that much but oh well I love that song
 
idk this is just me having feelings don't mind it
~~~
 
It's like okay so the past few days have been like idk because on Wednesday I realized something kind of horrible like actually really horrible and it's like one of those things that I've actually known for years but I didn't actually grasp until now and holy s/hit that like it didn't even have to do with me (although it was someone I really care about so yknow) but I just I I'm empty now don't do this to me I love you like I wow and then Thursday I was just kind of dwelling on that and it was I am a ghost all day and then I guess what I went to therapy and it was really fu/cking weird because I am past that phase but nope I'm not oh well idk whatever whatever I just feel super indulgent but it works it's all good and then on Friday night or last night pretty much was just not good like I'm so vague awh but things just happened and it just left me feeling really weak and then I fell asleep eventually and I woke up this morning and completely forgot about it like if you had asked me about the night I would've called it perfect but then suddenly in the car like wayyy later in the day I remembered and I just I'm so confused now like I really want to just go back to pushing it out of my mind like this didn't happen this didn't happen that didn't happen that never happened that was a dream never happened everything's fine but I can't do that without overly self-destructive behavior so ugh and then uh oh before that came back to me I realized something else which wasn't all that bad thinking about it now it just makes me feel like a total f/uck up but maybe to the benefit of some things so it's alright and yeah okay that was mostly the sh/itty stuff though because the past few days have actually been pretty good besides that stuff like good things happening with my friends my love life is just a giant el oh el because it's going so no that it's almost funny and me and Kate actually wrote a song with like actual music and shit woah guys and that's just made me feel really good tbh like progress just yes just good things and I've been with kate the past few days too like thursday friday and today and that's that's a good thing it's fun and uh I'm just kind of happy and kind of lost and it works I guess and I want a pet snake that's all